I didn’t want to post these horribly blurry photos at first, but then I thought “they actually represent my state of mind nowadays perfectly”. The fashionable outfit (in my humble opinion), slight grin but not quite a smile and the bluriness is how I’ve been these past months. The blue and gloomy-looking weather were bonus points that also represent 90% of how I feel daily.
Having your entire life plan for the next couple of months/years completely shift to nothingness throws an anxious person such as myself into an unhealthy overdrive. It may not seem like it, but the chaos going on in my head when it comes to future plans and commitmens, as well as life in general is doing my head in, as they say. I’ve been in a state of uncertainty throughout my whole adult life, but it hasn’t really gotten to such a rotten state until now.
Depending on others comes naturally to some, others don’t know boundaries, but a few, including me, absolutely loath it. Not only because our visions and plans all become blurry but the fact that we’re not in control and feel like we’re just going with the flow depending on other people’s decisions that can impact our lives drastically; and those are all things I’ve worked so hard to avoid but hit me out of the blue.
Until I’m ready to actually face my issues or talk to a professional and seek help or guidance in how to organise my mind and work towards a healthier and more calm view of the future, I’ll just be here playing dress up and trying to capture better quality photos in order to feed a very tiny part of my life that still allows me to be creative, and that I’m trying so hard to hold on to which is this blog.
Turban – Mango scarf
Hoops – Stradivarius
Blue liner – Essence Long LAsing eye pencil in Tu-Tu-Tou-Quoise
Sunnies – Stradivarius
White button-down – Stradivarius
Black crop top – Bershka
Trousers – Promod
Bag – Stradivarius
Heels – Aldo